I have to say, that the last 5 years has really been a journey. I know for all of us its been a trying time, one way or another. If you really rocked with me, like many of you did each month; Than you have to been wondering, where I’ve been?
Well, where do I begin? It all seem to fall apart for me when I lost my papa back in 2016 and just when I thought I got a place, I was ready to continue being me, I lost my Father in 2019. The two major male figures in my life gone, in what seemed like a blink of an eye. I fell into a deep funk, some would say depression. The only reason I didn’t utilize that word, is I know what I’m capable of & I know it takes me doing the work to get it.
I could sit around all day and feel sorry for myself and get nowhere; Sometimes I did. I could pray & pray and curse for nothing happening (Happened once or twice). I could question my existence, or wonder why I was placed here (I do this more then I like to admit)? For me it came down to, “What is it, that I want?’ My answer was Peace, Love & Understanding.
I know those answers sound basic ASF to alot of you. But let me tell you something about Peace! I will go toe to toe with someone over it, and I dont stand for anyone disturbing it. Not even myself! When it comes to me keeping my peace, I will obstain from the slightest amount of communication with anyone I deem volatile enough to disturb my Peace. I don’t have reire to get it and I definitely don’t have to move away. If anyone is going to leave, its going to be the person or the thing that dared try to take from me, for which I obtain.
Love, because I first have to love myself enough to know that I am Lovve, so I’m worthy of it. Embracing my flaws and challenging anybody who says they love me to do the same. I already see the beauty in indiffrence and flaws, so I pray others can do the same for me. And if they don’t, again I’m okay with that because I Love myself enough to know “I’m Worthy” regardless of how they feel.
Understanding in a world of misunderstandings and world of people who feel misunderstood. I have no problem with someone not agreeing with me. All I ask is to be understanding that we may not share the same view point and thats, Alright! Ipray for understanding, especially in the New Year! As I prepare to get the site back up and running.